Introductions

A chain Facebook note has put unbearable pressure on me to post a "28 things you may or may not know about me" list. I'm posting it here instead. Enjoy.

1. I love pickles more than pretty much anything. Specifically Clausen Dill Minis (with or without extra garlic). I hate sweet pickles though.
2. People often object that pickles are not a valid favorite food. If forced, I will tell you that my favorite non-pickle food is spaghetti. Observe:
3. I have been to 41 states. Every state except Connecticut , Vermont, Maine, North and South Carolina, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Oregon, and Alaska. I would like to visit all of these at some point, except Oklahoma. That state is pointless.
4. I have never been to Europe. This is something I'm pretty embarrassed about.
5. The reason I haven't dealt with this travesty is that I got hooked on snowboarding a few years back. So now my travel money goes to that. I haven't decided yet whether this makes sense.
6. Until recently I had a beta fish. My roommate moved to Australia and left it with me. I named it Reggie but he died last week. This probably had something to do with me being bad at life.
7. Talking about politics is lame and annoying.
8. I'm a complete junkie for politics. Like hours per day disappear to this shit.
9. I am known far and wide as a shitty driver, with good reason. I've never gotten a speeding ticket, but I've had 5 at-fault accidents. When I tell people how much I pay for car insurance, the reply is invariably "Holy shit." Either that or "Sweet baby Jesus."
10. I don't really like the Facebook. Sometimes this makes me feel like an outsider.
11. My mom has always had this weird disdain for salt. I grew up under the impression that is was wildly unhealthy. As a result, I never once put salt on an item of food (unless a recipe called for it) until about a year ago.
12. My very low sodium consumption results in me not retaining any liquid, so I have to pee like 12 seconds after I drink anything, alcoholic or otherwise. Or anyway, that's what I tell people is the cause of my pregnant-woman bladder.
13. I eat out a lot and feel guilty about it all the time.
14. I'm a damn good cook and want to do it more, but I work too much and so I'm lazy. So if you want someone to cook for you, just ask. I will be stoked.
15. When I was 17, I enrolled briefly at the United States Naval Academy. Drinking was not allowed there. After two months, I transferred to the University of Wisconsin. Drinking is all we did there.
16. I work for a software company. No, that does not mean I can fix your computer.
17. I hate wet socks. So. Much.
18. Allow me to elaborate. I keep a spare pair of socks at my office, principally as insurance against the very minor chance that the socks I'm wearing get even slightly wet.
19. I secretly want to have very carefully matched and fashionable outfits. Instead I have like 20 t-shirts that I wear in various mostly-random combinations with two pairs of jeans. This seems to work well.
20. I listen to music approximately 37 hours per day. My tastes are divided pretty evenly between heavy metal, hip-hop, nerd rock, and roots/folk rock (or in rare cases a combination of these). Hip-hop is the big deal right now. Common especially.
21. My favorite band is The Mars Volta. I have three framed concert posters on my wall from this band, and each probably decreases my chances of getting laid at any particular moment by about 30%. You do the math.
22. I have the ability to dislocate my shoulders at will. Do not ask me to do this, because it is intensely painful. Unless you're into that, I guess. I probably won't though unless you have boobs.
23. My favorite part of a woman is her waist. Mmmmmhmmmmm.
24. I have read Ender's Game at least 15 times. I once read it 5 times in a row.
25. On a related note, I recently cried at the end of The Road (by Cormac McCarthy). I really want to read it again (or maybe 15 times), but I keep putting it off because its so upsetting. The book is seriously fucking badass.
26. Returning to nerd-dom, I've read The Wheel of Time fantasy fiction series (grand total of about 5000 pages) 4 times. Then the author died of a weird blood disease without finishing the series. Fuck.
27. I was serious when I mentioned before that I love pickles. I drink pickle juice on a fairly regular basis (especially during or after drinking, it being the only real hangover cure).
28. I used to be a dog person and looked upon cats with mild disdain. Then I was introduced to these little buggers, and I'm completely and totally hooked: